Wednesday, April 30, 2003
so today blogging counts as "work"
I'm procrastinating working on my bidness site, yo, so I'm blogging instead. Apparently my fuzzy wuzzy brain has decided that any task I put off is as close to being work as any other. Figures. This is how I get away with reorganizing my pez collection instead of doing laundry.
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12:04 PM
Monday, April 28, 2003
Wall of Seduction
I like to consider myself a reasonably intelligent person. Why? Because I'm an intellectual snob, and if I weren't intelligent i would have to be snobbish towards myself, which is kind of tricky. Not like I can not invite myself to parties or anything like that. But I stray.
Today, in rehearsal, I was given my least favourite bit of direction, my own personal Direction of Death, if you will. The director told me to "seduce" my "husband." Canned Jesus on a cracker, I thought, while smiling gamely and saying "Ok, sure." Because I knew what would follow: I would be mocked.
I can't seduce people. Thus I cannot pretend to seduce people. Because I don't get "seduction" as a concept, the way some people don't get "unified field theory" or "common sense" or "freedom of speech" or, etc, ad nauseum.
If I want to have sex with someone, I'll have sex with them, and would generally prefer to go ahead and do that, and if I don't, no amount of intense glancing or candle lighting or footsie playing during chess is going to make me. If someone I want can't be gained by removal of my and/or their clothing, well, they are going to remain unseduced.
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11:30 PM
When you dream you are on Real World/Road Rules Battle of The Sexes, but that instead of being voted off one by one, everyone is being picked off by a serial killer, what does that mean? (Besides that you watch too much crappy television.)
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11:29 AM
Go ahead, offer me some cheese
I will try to keep some sense of proportion here. So I'm not going to say, "Waiting to not hear about auditions is the worst feeling in the world."
There are worse feelings. I've experienced many of them. I should be thankful I don't feel them more often and willing to take theatrrical unhappiness to avoid all the rest.
"Should" being the operative word in that sentence.
Waiting to not be cast is certainly the worst feeling I experience on a regular basis.
It is because of this, though there are still more actors, many more, than the market can bear, because of this many actors go about disguised as bank managers and soccer moms.
(Though I've whined about this quite too much, I expect it hasn't been enough yet. Fact: Depressed actors are boring.)
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12:01 AM
Sunday, April 27, 2003
When Reality and Science Fiction Collide
Well, you get some really kick-ass theatrrr is what happens. It will be silly and scary, there will be blood and glowing things, and some fun acting.
You also get a supposedly reasonable human who is convinced that cell cloning is the cure to all diseases and it is not being done only because The Evil Pharmaceutical Companies Conspire Against It.
In one of these cases you will be vastly entertained and not think about going to the bathroom or look at your watch (or, in my case, wish you were wearing a watch you could look at) once for an entire hour and a half.
In the other you will apparently become engrossed in your palm pilot (playing Tetris, but no one need know that) until the person wanders away.
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11:29 AM
Wednesday, April 23, 2003
Today I met a guy who has had Tom Stoppard's mail misdirected to him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Because they have flats in the same building in London!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, I managed to touch him. No, not THAT way.
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11:26 PM
Monday, April 21, 2003
Do You Believe In Life After Cher?
Or, Why Rachel Wants to Be a Diva
If I were a diva, I wouldn't have to continue working on any of my theatrrr skills. I wouldn't have to be able to sing, dance, or act. I would just have to be able to walk and wear extremely silly costumes.
If I were a diva, I could tell Britney Speers to piss off in front of a captive audience of several thousand. If I told her to piss off right now, no one but the cat would hear me.
If I were a diva, I wouldn't have to desist using the tub spa as soon as the clock strikes ten because my downstairs neighbors are early risers, or something. I wouldn't have downstairs neighbors. Or I would send half of my entourage down to deal with them. Booyeah.
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11:51 PM
Sunday, April 20, 2003
How I can Tell i've had enough to drink
I'm rocking the desk chair to annoy the cat and laughing hysterically as he turns and gives me a reproachful look.
We were going to go see A Mighty Wind tonight. That didn't work out, so we went out and drank instead. 'S a good trade.
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12:16 AM
Friday, April 18, 2003
Temporary Quandary
To readjust the desk chair or not to readjust the desk chair?
I run into this question a lot, because I tend to get a lot of short-term assignments. (Which, despite all my explainations of, blah blah blah, actor going on auditions, blah blah blah, faux patient for med students, etc., is really just because I hate offices and can't stand any of them for longer than a week or two.)
If it's just a one-day stint, it seems horribly rude. However, it sucks being all stiff and sore at the end of an office-sitting day just because some weirdo you haven't and will never meet needs to have their ass at a 45 degree angle relative to the floor.
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4:50 PM
Note to self:
Must remember to bring book to one-day temp assignments. Writing notebook will have exhausted it's entertainment value by lunch break. Then you will find yourself wandering around downtown Edmonds with nothing to do.
Note to cosmos:
I will probably go see A Mighty Wind this weekend, so I officially do not need to see the trailer any more. Really, I only needed to see it once, so the other 6 times were overkill.
I also do not need to see the trailer for The Good Thief ever again, but this is not because I intend to go see it. Unless you replace Nick Nolte with...any actor who is not Nick Nolte.
I could, however, stand to see The Matrix sequel trailer please.
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2:12 PM
Thursday, April 17, 2003
Ahhh, social interaction
Yes, after 2 months of never being in a social group larger than 3, I just spent the last 3 1/2 hours in company with 7. There was noise, there was pizza, there were many people talking at once.
As a bonus, they were quite nice. Double bonus: they were theatrrr people. I am a happy little extrovert right now.
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9:51 PM
Monday, April 14, 2003
It's the plumber, I've come to fix the sink
I got up early, due to water-related circumstances beyond my control. The surprise was that I actually felt rested. Neat!
And what did I do with this extra daylight and energy, one may ask?
I played The Sims all day. Sighing, shaking of head.
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11:32 PM
Saturday, April 12, 2003
I'm not sure having your first waking thought be "How soon can I try to go back to sleep?" is an auspicious start to the day. Far better to make that your last thought before going back to sleep and try consiousness later. It's like a reset button. Or a snooze button for life.
Of course, if the breadmaker starts right then, there will be no sleeping.
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12:16 PM
Friday, April 11, 2003
My Day by Me
Today I got to watch the Cardinals game on ESPN (yea!). Unfortunately, we lost to the Mountains (boo!).
I got to witness a quite rare triple play (wow!). It was against my team (grrrr!).
Then I watched SportsCenter, curious about the on-going Masters protest thing. Now, far be it from me to suggest that the torrents of rain being dumped on the golf course are indicative of some group of weather deities indicating the time has come to allow women to join your little club. . .no, wait, that sounds exactly like something I would say.
Then I found out that, not only was the baseball hall o' fame going to do a ceremony commemorating a movie about baseball (weird!), but that they had cancelled that ceremony due to the anti-war feelings of Tim Robbins (stupid! unconnected!).
Having gotten the message that the world is just too plain weird for me to deal with, I popped in my copy of The Great Muppet Caper.
Odd, but in all the bazillions of times I've watched it, it just today occurred to me that each musical number is spoofing a different famous type of movie muscial scene. I must've been distracted by the floral socks.
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3:10 AM
Wednesday, April 09, 2003
I just spent a really long time writing a huge chunk of email to someone who I don't care very much about, when I procrastinate on notes and generally neglect people who I love.
Oh internet! Destroyer of priorities!
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3:33 AM
I think God has a purpose for my life...
...and it involves puppets.
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3:31 AM
Monday, April 07, 2003
Wondering what it will turn into after midnight...
Having been involved with only the most banal of activities for at least 3 days, I have nothing much to talk about. I am, however, out of all proportion pleased with the progress of my Pumpkin Soup. The Pumpkin Soup must be handled carefully, though. It becomes dangerous when provoked.
Also, I have somehow managed to give someone the impression that I am supportive of Fred Phelps somehow. I did this in the same email where I called Fred Phelps a freak. Now I am puzzled.
Sometimes, I think I don't so much want to know what goes on in other people's heads, being afraid the results will not turn out to be worth the effort expended. This is one of those times.
Instead, I will dig a moat around the apartment and pour boiling Pumpkin Soup on intruders. Wheeeeeeeee!
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7:11 PM
Sunday, April 06, 2003
If one already has a title as cool as Iron Chef, does one really need to be King of Iron Chef?
Isn't that just putting a candy bar on top of your cake, ice cream, and pudding with sprinkles sundae?
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12:47 AM
Saturday, April 05, 2003
I am thinking that right now less of my ego needs to be tied up in the acting. Because, right now there is no acting. So, right now, there is no ego. Right now I am missing the ego.
Right now, the Theatrrr Gods are having their way with me.
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2:06 AM
Friday, April 04, 2003
The mailroom clerk at the business where I temp.ed today could easily win any Woody Allen look-alike contest. Poor bloke.
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5:52 PM
Definition of dilemma:
When the Betty Crocker cake mix box and Betty Crocker's new cookbook tell you to do different things.
This involves chocolate cake, so it is of course very serious.
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12:01 AM
Wednesday, April 02, 2003
Hmmmm, every time i have gone to blog in the last few days, there has been a problem (system down, publishing not available, aol crashing, etc). Perhaps I will blog much today to make up. Perhaps not.
Combating the 70%
Just thought I'd say, in case my snide comments haven't been clear, that I am against the current war. Ours.
I'm not a pacifist in general. I can see the point of some wars. Not this one. Unless the point is to make some rich people even richer. This seems likely.
I have vowed to gather news from nothing but The Daily Show until our March of Aggression is over; this means probably until the next presidential overhaul.
If I'm going to watch a biased report, I want it biased my way.
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3:34 PM
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