Friday, October 31, 2003
i'm not the cool kid, but i brought the cool kid
or
there are no razor blades god dammit
I love Halloween. I haven't been on about that yet, so I'm going to make it perfectly clear: Samhain, All Hallow's Eve, Pagany New Year, call it what you will, but it's my favourite holiday.
Why? Well, there's the very obvious lots and lots of free candy, but that's probably cutting it too flip. I think I like it because it is frivolous and comes sans baggage.
When I reached that middle childhood between elementary school and, well, now, Halloween meant a night of total freedom. Roaming the streets at will, scaring little children, filling my pillowcase, wearing silly clothes, cutting through yards and the huge piles of leaves left there.
Nothing you do for Oct 31st is filled with any monumental importance. The candy will get eaten. The pumpkins will rot, and we're all ok with that. The costumes just need to make it through the trick-and-treating and/or the fetish party, and if pieces come off on the journey that adds to the fun. Even my family unit, dysfunctional as it was, managed to not attach any heavy stressing weirdness to the day.
This leaves me with a holiday i can thouroughly enjoy. A rarity to be sure.
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1:09 AM
early late night at Denny's, re: the poseidon adventure
"Well of course the boat got knocked over, Frank Drebben was driving it!"
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12:54 AM
Tuesday, October 28, 2003
listening to: Are You Gonna Be My Girl by Jet, sent courtesy of Agent Smith
(he also makes fabulous cookies. NOT that he ever sends me any. HINT, HINT, SLEDGEHAMMER)
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12:32 PM
As witnessed by the guy shopping waffle cones
"Aaaauuuuuugggghhhhhhhhh!!!!"
The little blond girl was there in the frozen food aisle, all right, jigging like a troll. An angry, angry troll.
The tall man by her side made some inquiring noises. "Look. . .What the?! Where? BROWNIE!" she managed to inarticulate.
Wait! Maybe she had the wrong brand. She always gets Swanson's and Banquet confused anyway, always starts looking for the wrong one, until set back on the right path by finding the brownie. Maybe. . .
No. No, there were no brownies to be found. There was more jigging.
"Obviously they've joined the healthy eating kick," from the tall, non-jigging one.
"That's insane!"
He warmed to the convincing. "No, see, none of them have the desserts anymore. So it's an advertising ploy."
"I didn't say it was impossible, just insane," she might have been frothing, but the creamy-tiled floor made it hard to tell for sure. "If you want healthy, you don't eat Swanson's. It's crap food, with a dessert that cooks with your meal, and occasionally has bits of the vegetable in it so it's still warm when you get done with your chicken and that's the whole point!"
"We could just buy a brownie and warm it up in the microwave."
"Oh, that's not the point." She stilled her angry dance and soberly considered the misty food case. "Fuck them. Let's go buy a steak."
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12:07 PM
hear my words they’re the ones you would think I would say
hints drip like water
building tortured nothing shapes
dropped too small to be
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2:22 AM
Monday, October 27, 2003
brilliant or insane money making idea number three hundred and seventy two:
Strip Club Karaoke
(Either the person gets up to sing with two flanking strippers, or stripping flankers, dancing about to whatever they choose to sing. . .even if it's Ghost Riders In the Sky. . .or the lyrics are projected onto an already-stripped dancer.)
favourite new word found in today's internet surfing:
dumsquizzled
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4:02 PM
Jesus Retreats (film at eleven)
I spent the weekend On Retreat W/Annex, (could be a really fun cable access show) which inevitably reminded me of retreat experiences past, all involving some sort of Jesus action.
I take a time-out to explain something to my Midwest readers: A retreat involves going far away into the woods for a couple to several days, eating junk, drinking a lot, and lighting things on fire. It may help you place it if you think of it as a "camping trip." Or a "high school debate tournament."
(I was surprised when I had to explain all this to my Mom, given that I went on eleventytwelve retreats back in high school when I lived with her, but, yeah, well.)
I take a time-out to explain something to my Northwest readers: Generally speaking, people in the Midwest don't do the retreat thing. Or, rather, they do it, but that's not what they call it. Less generally speaking, there are some church groups who do. (And now that I'm no longer of their ranks, I must admit the idea of Christians on retreat amuses me. Especially Fred Phelps.)
I take a time out to explain something to everyone: Yes, I used to be a Christian. There was a Presbyterian Church right behind my house where my best friend's father was the pastor, and between those 2 factors I didn't have a fighting chance. Also, they had a children's chior. So.
The explaining continues: My religious practicing came to an abrupt halt in 11th grade when 1) the pastor started pushing me towards confirmation classes and 2) Debate Team made Sunday the only possible day of late sleeping. So, on the seventh day I rested.
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11:32 AM
Friday, October 24, 2003
fun game for the car ride down to retreat
Linden LaRouche's Six Degrees of Hitler Game
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6:03 AM
Wednesday, October 22, 2003
If the heart is squeezed,
the brain observes maintenance
while the stomach dreams
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4:32 AM
Tuesday, October 21, 2003
Trying a different tack
or
I'm grateful for the moon, I'm grateful for the rain, I'm grateful for...
~ Spaghettios w/ "meat"balls, chocolate frosting, and grocery stores which have sushi to go.
~ Snob music, specifically Gilbert and Sullivan. Let's face it, G&S are not the most pedestrian of composer/lyricist teams. You don't find a lot of G&S fans watching, say, jello wrestling, for instance. Which begs the question: How smart are they really?
~ intermittent employment. Money for acting sick is good, as was having occasion to note tonight's date, because I then remembered it was time for...
~THE NEW BARENAKED LADIES CD! This also means I am grateful for my credit card. Fiddle dee dee.
~ The Topsy Turvy Soundtrack, which gives me a schmoopie excuse to be grateful for Bob, who first introduced me to this movie. This after he caught me singing "Poor Wand'ring One" in a theatrrr stairwell.
~ My friend Brian. Even though he is traveling in exotic lands, he has remembered those of us who are state bound and torments us with pictures. Oh delicious torment!
Reading: Catch 22 by Joseph Heller
and Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them by Al Franken
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9:02 PM
Normal Life ala Mode
Calling all
Soccer Moms presumptive
I know a gentleman
Who'll take you
Sight unseen
As long as you're pretty
And quiet
And clean
He'll wed you
And bed you
Once per fiscal quarter
Whether you need it or not
Well,
Not really
But he'll at least think about it
Perhaps
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4:07 AM
Sunday, October 19, 2003
So. A thing happened last night which I'm at a loss to name. I can't call it a shock or jolt or anything which denotes surprise. I can't say I was disappointed, because it was really just what I expected to happen. I guess you could say that the other shoe finally dropped.
And it truthfully was somewhat of a relief. Artaud had a stage direction in Jet of Blood, where he said something fell with "nausea-inducing slowness." Yeah, that pretty much covers it. This inevitable bad thing that's been just about to happen for 2 years now, pretty likely to happen for 1 year, and nigh upon us for the past 2 months has finally arrived.
I got off the phone call that informed me and felt. . .not too bad, really. I wasn't crying, I wasn't throwing things. I also wasn't happy, but that wasn't to be looked for. My appetite remained, which was a pleasant surprise since extreme emotional angst goes straight to my tummy, does not pass go, does not collect 200 dollars. Nope, my clearest feeling was a sort of low-grade irritation.
I ate a waffle and some bacon. I watched Monster House, which never fails to amuse me. I went to bed to read Catch-22 (one of my all time favs) and actually felt sleepy. Lights out by midnight, tra la.
And then, boom, wide awake at 2am. No more sleep for me. Obviously I'm repressing something. This'll be fun.
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5:21 PM
Saturday, October 18, 2003
Mister Late-comer
Sorry, I meant General
You ain't got no game
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4:31 AM
Thursday, October 16, 2003
Just because I'm easily amused doesn't mean it's not funny
or
Monthly Visitation
I forget just where I first encountered the quaint old theory that women's hysterics were caused by the uterus, which apparently theoretically floated free range style in the body, rising into the throat.
And I'm not really sure why we started discussing how women used to, but no longer, faint at concerts of sexy pop stars at 2 am during commercial breaks of Stylock 17 (which, by the by, lends me my favourite one-line movie spoiler of all time: "Yeah, and Dunbar's in the water tower"). (This spoiling actually happened to a friend of mine...and not initiated by me.)
But I still contend that, all feasibility set aside, since the little monthly intrusions as are seem to cause so much distress to so many women, if my uterus cut loose and wandered about, I'd be up for some discomfort and screaming too.
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4:14 AM
Wednesday, October 15, 2003
Reading: Sarah by Orson Scott Card and The Complete Poems of Anne Sexton
S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y night!
Two completely seperate groups of people, engaged in the pursuits of different walks of life, and yet the conversation was oddly similar, rotating around the SciFi axis.
The only notable difference was that I didn't scare anyone the second time by implying someone might be making a movie out of the Foundation Series. So, I have a really good learning curve, even if the Cosmic Conversational Subconcious doesn't.
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12:19 AM
Tuesday, October 14, 2003
Dear ResidentLife editors,
Just a thought:
If we're watching the show in the first place,
And we've hung in through the cataract surgery,
And the baby with diabetes,
And the auto trauma,
And the kid with a BB in his eyeball,
Not to mention the 5 heart transplants,
I think we can handle seeing a nipple
Without getting too worked up.
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2:02 AM
Sunday, October 12, 2003
define the things that make you want to lose your mind you try but in mundane conversation between berried vodka beverages they slip away and it isn't until solitude descends again that you realize why you turned off your phone and had to get out of the house in the first place
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12:16 AM
Saturday, October 11, 2003
and all slept for a hundred years. . .
Finally, after many days of reasonless sub-concious sleep deprivation, finally I have been allowed to sleep more than three hours.
Perhaps today I will be a bit less insane.
Or more. You can never really tell.
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12:32 PM
Friday, October 10, 2003
She drops the bread crumbs
In the snowy jungle seen
Stones might be wiser
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5:57 PM
I have a new PEZ dispenser. It is Miss Piggy. When I went to add her to my collection (60 and still going strong) I found, to my chagrin, that I don't have a Fozzie.
This was chagrining because i had been presented with the option of also picking him up and had expressed certainty that i already had one. Just goes to show what my certainty is worth, I spose. . .though I think my actual term was "pretty sure."
On the up-side, being Fozzie-less gives me a brilliant excuse to go back to Archie McPhee's.
Now if only PEZ would come out with Rowlf, Swedish Chef and Bunsen&Beaker, life would be perfect.
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10:27 AM
soooo, what's on my mind tonight?
Reading: Briar Rose by Jane Yolan
~ There is a yummy sashimi dinner sitting in my very happy tummy. I don't have anything against sushi, just wasn't sure whether the place in question had arbitrary wasabi. I may be hot like wasabi when I bust rhymes, but my tongue wants none of the Green Paste of Death.
~ There was a lovely Howard Dean segment on The Daily Show tonight. A man who is capable of being silly while campaigning can be my president any day. How about tomorrow?
~ Moreover, it appears I missed some fireworks in today's so-called debate. Man. Now I have to go to CNN.com and see if they have it available for download. (see earlier installments re: that's the kind of geek I am, yes)
~ My cat is acting stranger than usual right now. Maybe it's because I gave him tuna. Or because it is Thursday.
~ I've had a lot of thought today of a doctor finishing her internship somewhere on the east coast. We were friends in college and are living each other's perpendicular lives. I wonder if she's happier?
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12:43 AM
Thursday, October 09, 2003
Now with spell checking, er, spelling check
Reading: Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
Right now I am a very sleepy girl because I wasn't so sleepy last night. Thus I did not go to beddybye until 4am, which theoretically gave me 3 hours of sleep.
Note: theoretical sleep hours do not necessarily represent actual sleep hours.
So I go to bed and my mind is still racing, which keeps me up for another length of time I find indeterminate given my terrible sense of linear time and horrendous near-sightedness.
Bugging me: that i can't seem to learn how to spell "necessarily" and can't type a capital "i" on this fucking macintosh keyboard.
Top on my mind is a thing. It is pretty dumb and will either go away or something else will happen and right now I'm swinging back and forth on the Which is More Likely Pendulum. And, of course, the Should I Do Something About It Swing. I am a pendulum. (high school physics joke; nevermind)
Specificity level: absolute zero
The other major thing on my mind is the general lack of rootedness I am feeling. Still. It is very wearing and wearying and I'm not sure what to do about it. But I think much of my angst can be traced to it. Including the angst about the thing.
Interesting fact: the blogger spellcheck does not recognize "fucking" as a word
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1:13 PM
Life, my favourite
Chinese food, the taste is both
Sour and sweet here
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2:37 AM
after Amelie
Why is it that in the movies freaky stalker people
1) Are always unbelievably cute
2) Wind up with happy loveness instead of restraining orders
?
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12:16 AM
Wednesday, October 08, 2003
Reading Bazooka
Fortunes mean something, but what
Reason is reduced
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12:24 AM
Tuesday, October 07, 2003
best thing i've heard on late-night tv. ever:
Change can really disrupt the status quo.
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2:01 PM
Monday, October 06, 2003
hmm...
It wasn't you who
IMed me at 7:10
Strange, but sadly not
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3:39 PM
i'm tired and naked
i've had the same song stuck in my head for over 12 hours now. fortunately, it's a good song. unfortunately, the line that pops into my head most frequently is one to be very weird for singing in public places.
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7:15 AM
Friday, October 03, 2003
(. . .scream real loud, ok!)
You remember the Secret Word from Pee Wee's Playhouse?
Yeah, well I live in fear of the secret word. Or rather, of the secret sentences, or subjects, that are best not broached with random not-very-close acquaintances.
These are the things that you can innocently bring up, only to have a big giant hairy pissy deal descend upon your head like a tar-filled balloon.
And though I know, intellectually, that there is no reasonable way in hell I can be expected to know to avoid saying these things. . .though it may have even been right and good of me to mention said thing. . .the emotional aftermath of the confrontation inevitably leads to my considering the path of the recluse.
This also has a lot to do with why I tend not to be friends with people who have bursts of spontaneous unprovoked screaming at me.
Begone bellowy babe! I poke you, I poke you, I poke you!
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1:16 PM
what bothers me most about the fact that I've not been keeping my blog up to date:
that anyone out there might think i'm still reading any of those books listed. 2 are long finished. the other, well, i've hidden and am avoiding it. it was too scary.
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12:51 AM
Thursday, October 02, 2003
Wouldn't society be better off if instead of a cop posted outside the bar door to check IDs and make sure people are allowed to drink, there sat a psychiatrist to determine whether one really ought to be drinking?
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12:39 AM
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